


Pain and Prejudice

by Lallaina



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Chronic Pain, Drugs, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Moceit is written as platonic but can be seen as romantic if that's your jam of choice, Protective Morality | Patton Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, actually just Janus giving half his lifespan for some pain meds, set before SvSR
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:54:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28424286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lallaina/pseuds/Lallaina
Summary: Janus is having a bad hip day, and he needs medication. Unfortunately if he wants to get that, he needs to venture into to the light sides' territory, and steal it from their kitchen.He can barely stand, but he knows his foes, and if he chooses the right time, he will have no problems on his mission, in and out, the light sides none the wiser.But what happens when a stray Morality appeares right when he shouldn't have?Do not repost on any other site!
Relationships: Deceit | Janus Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 10
Kudos: 70





	Pain and Prejudice

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ive_never_read_fluff](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ive_never_read_fluff/gifts).



> Shoutout to Ive_never_read_fluff, who is just absolutely amazing, and whom I'm just boundlessly proud of!
> 
> Tw for vomiting.
> 
> It's not descriptive at all, but it is referenced multiple times after the fact too, so if You are sensitive to that, then do not read.
> 
> Please stay safe out there!

Janus knew he needed to move soon, or his window of opportunity will close, but he really, really didn’t want to.

From his face, nobody would guess, but Janus didn’t have an especially great day. He woke up feeling like a bulldozer went over him, and not only because of the exhaustion. His left hip felt like it wanted to murder him with only a tiny plastic knife and a lot of determination.

He tried to move throughout the day, because sometimes that helped to ease the pain, but this was not one of those days.

He usually worked a lot in any given day, if not with Thomas’ daily life, and the little lies and omissions he used to make it easier, then with the other sides. It was always useful to know what they lied about to others, and especially useful to know what they lied about to themselves. He needed to look out for them, in case any of them crashed. Only for Thomas’ sake, of course.

He needed all of them to function in the most optimal way, even if the light sides didn’t want to acknowledge that.

But today he already knew he couldn’t do all of this. So without moving out of his bed, he looked through Thomas’ memories, placed a white lie or two within his arm’s reach should he need it when Janus couldn’t help, and tried to follow the day’s happenings.

He didn’t eat all day, because he would had to have left his room, and that was way more energy than Janus had, or wanted to spend for that matter, on such flimsy activities as eating. Also it was unneccessary anyway, as the pain took away all his hunger. How _fantastic._

But he counted himself lucky, because in the afternoon he caught some sleep, which on one hand didn’t help his fatigue at all, on the other hand, he wasn’t actively hurting when he slept.

And it brought him closer to his desired hour of the night; 4 a.m.

The time of night, when all the light sides were most likely to be asleep.

Of course it wasn’t guaranteed, but this was the time, when Virgil finally slept deep enough to not wake up if someone were to rustle about in the kitchen, but not that late that Logan was shortly waking up and starting his day.

Of course there were variables, like Roman having a creative burst and staying up all night, or Patton not being able to sleep, that made his… ventures to the light side kitchen risky, but he knew he didn’t have a choice today.

He needed pain meds, or he would be bound to his bed, unable to move for at least a week.

That was a bigger risk, as he didn’t know when Thomas might need him to appear, and he knew even if he could stand long enough, the pain would be too much for him to think sharp and straight enough to impersonate anyone. Not even thinking about convincing them of anything as himself.

Unfortunately for him, only the creative sides could conjure anything long-lasting, and he needed his pain meds to last long.

But he also knew better than to put anything Remus conjured even remotely near his mouth after the tickle incident. (He wished that would have been the first example. He was ashamed to admit, his wisdom came from experience, not the common sense he usually prided himself on.)

So Janus really needed to move, because it was already 4:22, and his window of opportunity would close in half an hour.

He finally grabbed his cane, always prepped near him, and Janus started to move his legs towards the side of the bed with the precaution of a dog owner trying to catch their pet to bathe it, when said pet really didn’t wanted to be bathed and anyways it wasn’t _that_ muddy.

When his legs were almost off the bed Janus propped his elbows under his upper body and started to sit up moving himself upwards mostly by his arms. He had enough practice with this motion already that he managed to go sufficiently slow, that there was no shooting pain in his hip, which was a proud accomplishment even if he didn’t end up making it to the kitchen.

He was sitting on the side of his bed now, clutching his cane, and trying to gather enough strenght and courage to stand up. That will hurt either way.

Janus with a quick motion, so he wouldn’t overthink it, pushed himself upward with his arms trying to put all his weight on the right side, right tight straining with the exertion. He needed to try and move his left hip joint the least and slowest he could, and try to not use the muscles around it, so that wouldn’t put more pressure on his joint.

He was finally upright, and he only felt like puking, not fainting. He took the victory, as he started limping out of his room and to the light side kitchen.

It was very risky, going to enemy territory when he was in such a weak state, but he needed medication, and the last batch he stole was hardly enough for three weeks worth of flare ups, and he didn’t have the opportunity yet to fill up his stash again. He deemed it too dangerous five days ago, when he had a good day, to creep up into the light sides’ part of the conciousness, because Thomas had a date the next day, so he was sure Virgil was working overtime in the day and being generally more anxious at night. Which meant less sleep for him, and less opportunities for Janus.

He now regretted his choice. Even being caught red handed would have been better than being caught this weak, but hindsight is 20/20, Janus sighed to himself.

As he walked through the light side common area he took extra care to not step on any squeaky floorboards, but he couldn’t do much about the knock of his cane. He slowed his steps a little to be quieter, even though he knew that wouldn’t be much help if any of the other sides were up.

He creeped into the kitchen, and heaved a sigh inward. He was less exposed here than in the commons, more walls between him and the others. He still couldn’t be too loud, but he felt slightly better having to only watch a door for dangers, and not all around.

He hurried toward the cupboard where he knew the lights kept all the medical stuff, including the drugs, carefully going around a chair that was left pulled out. Maybe he should restock some bandages too, Remus tended to use a lot, and liked to steal from his stash, because his conjured ones always came pre-bloodied.

Janus carefully propped his right side on the counter and streched up to open the cupboard. Why would the idiots put the medical supplies so high up, didn’t they know that it was impractial, and potentially dangerous in an emergency?

He finally got the box with the pain meds in it and started to carefully pull it out, when he heard a sharp gasp from his right.

Janus spun around panic leading his instincts, and would have tried to hiss and look intimidating, were it not for the counter on his left side. Which he just slammed his left hip into.

Pain exploded in his left side, Janus could feel even his ribs thrumming with it, and his hip felt like it was on fire and getting repeatedly stabbed with a ragged-edged dagger.

„Deceit!” He heard hazily as Patton whispered with a scared voice. He knew he should try to right himself from his stooped position, he knew he should try to stand tall and villain-monologue about his dastardly plans till he intimidated Patton enough to scare him out of the kitchen with just a ’boo’. But Janus’ body was screaming at him, he couldn’t think, and to his mounting horror Janus felt that this time, the nausea will come out victorious.

He couldn’t stay on his feet anymore, his knees met the floor with a loud thump that Janus already knew will make bending them a torment if he could get up again, and puked out all the nothing he eat that day.

Janus’ mind started to get hazy from all the pain he was feeling now, not just from his side and his hip, which was still out of his body and jumping around in the flames of hell, but from his abused knees too. He could barely hear Patton’s alarmed voice over the fog.

„Deciet! Are you all right? What is wrong, are you sick?” And suddenly Morality was right next to him, reaching out, trying to capture his shoulder. Janus jerked away, but his back hit the counter.

He didn’t have anywhere to run, and even if he had he wouldn’t be able to. Janus was in too much pain, brain hazy, and he wasn’t even sure if he could even move his knees at this point.

Janus was going to get captured. Morality will go and get Logic and Creativity, and if he was feeling particularly cruel, Anxiety too, and they will tie him up and stuff him in somewhere small and far away, where he won’t be able to help Thomas, or move, or escape, and he will live the rest of his life there alone and in more and more pain.

Janus couldn’t hear anything Morality said in the last minutes, but he did notice when he started to pull away and stand up. He can’t let him go, he could try to maipulate him into letting him back to the dark side, but if Morality gets Logic Janus’ last sliver of hope will die.

The desperation gave him some strength to push through the fog. „No, stay there!” His voice came out much more confident than Janus felt himself being, or his looks would have suggested he was capable of producing. Perks of practicing 24/7.

To be honest, he didn’t think this would work, he was just trying to get himself some time to think of some strategy to keep Morality here, but the other side stopped immediately and went back to his previous squatting position. „What can I get you? You’re sick, right? Do you know what you caught?”

And maybe Janus was delirious from the pain, but he sounded… concerned? Morality sounded worried about him? Does he think whatever Janus has is contagious?

No matter, at least he won’t come too close. „The box” Janus pointed his thumb in the direction of the open cupboard and half pulled out box. Over his head.

Morality creased his eyebrows as he looked up. „I won’t be able to reach it with you there on the ground, kiddo, and you can’t stay there anyway.” He started to reach for Janus with both hands. „Would you like to go sit on the dining chair or the couch in the living room?”

Janus wanted to jerk away again, but his back was already flush against the counter, so he could only hiss forcefully while trying to draw away. „No!”

To his surprise, Morality’s hands stopped. „Kiddo, I can’t get you medicine if you are blocking the way. And I don’t think you would want to spend too much time on the cold kitchen floor when sick, especially not right next to that mess.” He pointed at the mess Janus made, and now that the adrenalin cleared his head a little, Janus could smell it too, which will make him throw up again if he stays there for a second longer.

He reluctantly stretched his hand out to Morality. He didn’t really have a choice, as he didn’t think he could stand up on his own in the close future, and he knew Morality will get him up from the floor one way or another. This way he could defend himself a little better. Not that he would have any chance against the strongest side in the whole Mindscape in his current condition, but it made him feel a little less vulnerable, and right now he would take anything he could get.

Morality gripped his forearm and started to half pull, half guide him upwards with gentle confidence. Sitting on the floor didn’t help any with his tortured, still flaming hip, and as Janus tried to go up and unfurl from his curled up position he felt like a swiss army knife trying to open and spring out of his sheath. His joint was stuck.

If he tried to pop it open like this, no matter the pain meds, he won’t be able to stand for week for sure. „Stop.” He gritted out.

Morality stopped pulling him up. „What’s wrong, kiddo? Are you feeling nauseous again?” He leaned closer, that concerned look on his face again.

Janus wanted to scream in frustration. He was in a lot of pain, on enemy territory, basically incapacitated, and at the mercy of the strongest of the light sides. He was literally self-preservation, how did he get into a position like this?!

He couldn’t let Morality know how weak he was, that he couldn’t even stand up. Being sick is one thing, but being unable to move is an entirely new level of bad and vulnerable.

But Janus knew he needed to move, up from the cold, hard floor and away from his earlier mess, so he ground his teeth and extended his arms up a little and did what he did best; lied. „I’m too nauseous to get up like that, you can pick me up.” Janus didn’t think he felt this miserable before in his whole life. Defenceless, on the floor, begging his enemy to help him.

But Morality didn’t look gloating or malevolent in the least. He let go of Janus’ arm, and with a smile leaned in and gently put his arms under his knees and his back.

Morality tried to be very smooth as he picked Janus up, he could tell, but he pulled at Janus’ knees which made him feel like something will tear in them, and when he was finally up his left hip hit Morality’s front. After the thrumming pain of being moved and jostled Janus couldn’t hold back his pained whimper at the sharp, shooting shock in his joint. He clenched his teeth so tight they started to ache too, but he didn’t even notice.

„Are you alright? Did I hold you wrong? What hurts?” Asked Morality in a weirdly worried tone.

Janus wanted to answer, tell him that nothing was wrong, just get him somewhere soft to sit down and leave him alone, but he couldn’t unclench his jaw, and he felt like he will cry from this new kind of hurt that piled up on all the other hurt he was already in after this mission, and after this day. So he just shook his head curtly and impatiently.

But Morality seemed to understand something, because he started to walk to the living room without another word. Janus felt his hip throb with every gentle sway of Morality’s steps, but even so he felt marginally better for some reason. Morality was just radiating warmth, and Janus was always cold. If he wouldn’t put pressure on his hip, Janus was sure it would even ease some of the pain there, as warmth usually seemed to help the aches in his joints.

In the living room Morality gently put down and helped Janus settle on the couch, even offering a blanket for him. Janus really didn’t understand what he was playing at, but it’s not like a blanket over his legs and waist would give him more tactical disadvantage than he already was in, so he accepted the fluffy comforter. It was unbelievably warm, he never touched anything this fluffy before. „I’ll go get the medicine for you and a cup of water, okay, kiddo?” Morality smiled down at him.

But more importantly, if he would have a little time under the blanket, maybe he would be able warm up enough for his hip to ease out of its stuck position. Then maybe he could even walk again, only with his cane, of course, his knees were still hu… His cane.

He dropped it when he hit his hip in the kitchen. Without that he won’t be able to move even if he gets half a day in the warmth and the pain meds!

But how will he get it? He could ask Morality, but he didn’t want to make him start suspecting anything. But Janus himself couldn’t get it now, even if Morality wasn’t here in his way. He can’t even move his hip, he didn’t want to think about how it would feel to try and drag himself back to the kitchen.

In the end Janus decided to wait and see how Morality behaves, and decide his next move based on that.

It took Morality a little time to come back to the living room, and Janus was starting to get worried that he somehow slipped away to alert the others, even though Janus should have seen that as the kitchen only had one door tha he had a perfect view of.

But then Morality came back, just as he said he would, with the pain meds’ box in one hand and a cup of water in the other, somehow looking a little… sad? Weird. Janus was sure it was only the pain making him feel more sluggish. Morality held the box in front of Janus so he could choose which meds to take, then put the rest on the table.

Fortunately it was close enough that Janus could reach it if he stretched his arm just right probably. Maybe he won’t have to jostle his hip even more to get his hands on the refill his stash so desperately needed.

After he chose the strongest med the box held Morality gave him the cup. „You are not sick, are you?” Janus inhaled sharply, which didn’t agree with the sip of water he was currently trying to shallow.

After some stifled coughs and another sip of water, he looked up at Morality with a smirk that may or may not have been a little too stiff. „You’re right of course, Morality, throwing up in my foes’ kitchen is _totally_ my nightly hobby. Now my _dastardly_ plan to leave a little surprise for you for the morning was _foiled_!” Janus tried to pack as much sarcasm in his tone as he could. He wanted his sentence to burst along the seams with it, so even Morality would understand how ridiculous his completely truthful observation was.

He also wasn’t panicking, because panicking didn’t help anybody, and panicking was just a stupid move overall, and Janus wasn’t stupid. So he was not panicking.

But Morality just looked at him with that little, sad smile. „These are pain meds. Not effective for nausea or fever or anything else that could cause you to thow up. Except for pain.”

Janus rolled his eyes, and tried to stay just as snarky as he was before. „Sure, because there is _no way_ that…” But Morality cut in.

„You hit your hip when I startled you in the kitchen, then curled around it and then threw up. When I picked you up and your side was pushed to me, you… didn’t like that. And you were reaching for pain medicine. I think this paints a pretty clear picrute of what the problem is, Deceit.”

Janus was absolutely mortified. He didn’t know what to do now. He could try to deny it, but he saw it in Morality’s face that Janus won’t be able to misdirect him this time. He couldn’t escape even if he could move, with him just an arm’s reach away. That only left bargaining, but he didn’t know what to offer to Morality that wouldn’t get him into even more trouble.

After all the light sides didn’t know he knew their secrets, and if he told Morality now, he would probably want to put him away even more, maybe even without the others knowing about it. The less sides to know the less chance the Duke could get to dig out his whereabouts from one of them and rescuing him, so that was out of the question.

He needed more information, he needed Morality to talk.

„What do you want, Morality?” Janus growled.

He tilted his head and creased his brows. „Umm… I don’t know what you mean, but if you injured your hip, we should treat it, before you’ll have even more problems with it.”

Was Morality trying to confuse him? Was a tactic to get him to lower his guard? „I’m not injured, and you will not put your hands on me!” Janus growled again, trying to stay relatively quiet as to not wake the other light sides. His odds didn’t need another blow.

Morality put his palms up and leaned back a little. „Okay, I won’t touch you. But you should eat something, you just took a pretty heavy med, and judging by what you threw up earlier you probably didn’t eat for a while now. I’ll get you a light snack real fast, okay? Oh, and your cane, I left it in the kitchen the last round, because I didn’t have enough hands for it. I bet you never have this problem!” Morality joked a little strained while getting up.

The joke wasn’t what baffled Janus completely though. „You’ll get me food… and give me my cane back?” He couldn’t hold back the question, as he was too confused at what was going on around him right now.

Morality stopped and turned back to him with an almost equally confused expressin. „Sure? You need food and we have it, so, yeah? And of course I’ll give you your cane back, you love that cane! I’m not gonna take something important from you just because you wanted some medication.”

„But… It helps with my mobility… And I could even attack you with my cane!” Janus didn’t know why he would say that, he was literally speaking against himself, which his situation really didn’t require.

„Well… Will you?” Morality asked a looking a little abashed.

„No! I won’t, so give it back. Please.” He forced out between clenched tetth. Understanding dawned upon Morality’s face, and Janus didn’t know what to think of that.

„Okay, you know what? Lets have a truce for tonight, okay, Deceit? You won’t attack me, and I won’t attack you. We are just going to be two sides, no light or dark, okay? And then I can help you as a fellow side should, right? Would this be okay with you, Deceit?” Patton asked.

And Janus really didn’t know what to think of this, because this felt… too easy? Too good to be true?

But Patton looked honest, and a little worried, and Janus’ subconcious already decided to trust him, for some inexplicable reason, so he started to relax. Which also meant that he will have an adrenaline crush not much later.

So he needed to get out of here, and if agreeing with Patton would move along things faster, then Janus could certainly do that.

„Sounds like a deal to me.” He was tryin for cocky, but it came out more tired than anything.

But Patton looked back at him and let a big smile spread on his face, which made Janus feel warm inside. But it was probably just from the blanket.

Patton came back with a plate of crackers, cut up banana and apples in one hand and his cane in the other. He gave the plate to Janus and propped his cane next to him on the couch. „Are you feeling better?”

Janus looked up cautiosly from his food. „No, the meds take a little time to take effect, probably around twenty more minutes.” He was still in a lot of pain, but thankfully the fog didn’t come back. Now he just felt really tired. He started to get a little drowsy.

„Can you tell me how you injured your hip?”

„I didn’t.” Janus replied curtly, while nibbling on a cracker.

„But you didn’t hit it on the counter so bad, why would you throw up from the pain?” Patton creased his brows.

Janus sighed. „It already hurt. I dunno why, the joint just hurts sometimes.”

Now Patton started to look really worried. „What? Joints don’t hurt just like that, something must be causing it. How much does it hurt?”

„It doesn’t hurt that bad.” When Patton looked doubfully at him, Janus continued quickly. „I’m sure something is causing it, but I can’t exactly just _saunter_ up to Logic and ask his opinion. I’m sure he would be _thrilled_ to see me, but I would rather not run for my life from an angered Princey. Or I could just ask Thomas to conduct some research on it, as he just _loves_ to see me too, and _can’t wait_ to listen to my _every_ suggestion.” Janus started out with some sarcasm, but at the end he couldn’t hold back his bitterness over the situation from his tone. Patton slumped his shoulders and looked down guiltily.

Janus sighed again. „Look, it is what it is. I just need pain meds and I’ll manage as I always do.”

At that Patton looked up. „Oh yeah, why did you come here for meds? Couldn’t Dark Creativity conjure them up for you?” He asked tilting his head.

Janus grimaced. „Unfortunately his creations when ingested usually have some… unpleasant side effects.” He tried very resolutely not to think about the tickle incident.

Patton grimaced too, probably imagining something much tamer than anything that actually happened. Janus didn’t mind, the light sides didn’t need to know how chaotic and messy things could get on their side, if Virgil didn’t already tell them.

„So that means that you are stuck in the dark side with your joints hurting so bad you can’t even stand up, without any medication to help?” Patton’s face went from realization to being horrified under a second. If Janus wouldn’t still be in a lot pain, feeling like half the world’s exhaustion was weighing on his shoulders, and still kind of worried under all of these for how much information he was willingly giving over to the light side, he would have found it funny.

As it was he only pulled a corner of his mouth higher. „Just another day in the dark side of the Mindscape.” He drawled, his tone only having a little bit of sarcasm this time.

Patton looked even more horrified at his answer. They were silent as Janus finished his plate of crackers and fruit, ready to pass out any minute, only his willpower keeping him awake.

„I…” He yawned so big, that his jaw started to ache. „I should go now, before Logic wakes up.” Janus didn’t know how he will get back to his room. Although his hip joint finally relaxed back, and he could move it again, Janus was so exhausted that he knew he wouldn’t be able to limp all the way back to his room. He would be surprised if he could manage to get to the dark side. Sleeping on the cold, hard floor didn’t sound good, and would make his joints feel even more miserable after he wakes up, but it still sounded better than sleeping on the light side’s living room couch, and wakin up at getting stabbed by an angry Prince.

Patton stood up and held out both hands in offering. Something? Janus squinted at him in confusion.

He chuckled a little. „Would you like me to carry you back to your room? I don’t have to, but you look dead on your… butt, I’m concerned about how you’ll be able to get back.”

Janus knew he shouldn’t trust Morality, not with the information of where his room was, and especially not with himself half-asleep in his arms. But Patton looked so genuinely hopeful and concerned, that he couldn’t fight himself anymore. He nodded, and with a last, mournful look, started to peel off the blanket from his waist.

Patton touched his hand. „You can keep it, if you want. We have lots of blankets, nobody will notice.” He smiled at Janus so softly, that Janus forgot how to breath for a second. That looked like enough of a confirmation to Patton, as he tucked the blanket back under Janus just tightly enough that it will stay in place when he lifts him up.

He started to reach under Janus, but stopped mid-air to look him in the eyes. „Deceit, I know we are not… friends, strictly speaking, but I would like you to know, that if you ever need medication again, you don’t have to sneak in, you can call me and I will get you whatever you need. I’ll just tell Roman that I’d had a clumsy streak, or something, okay? I don’t want you to overexert yourself when you’re already hurting.” His smile, altough gentle and genuine somehow looked… pained. Janus didn’t like this expression on Patton’s face, it didn’t really fit on the always peppy side.

So he agreed, to get that sad curve off of Thomas’ happiest side’s face. „Okay. Thank you, Patton.”

Patton lifted him up gently, and Janus only remembers smooth, warm swaying, and some murmuring in a tone, that he could best describe as… affectionate. Must have been a nice dream.

Janus woke up twelve hours later, relaxed and feeling fresh. He was in his own bed, his hip hurt significantly less, his knees felt, if not perfect, but okay.

He had his cane propped to his bedside, 3 boxes of pain medication on his nightstand, and his new blanket still warmed his legs and hip deliciously.

**Author's Note:**

> I enjoyed this idea and the potential of this premise, so I'm thinking about adding chapters to this story later.
> 
> If you have an idea of what you would love to see in a future chapter, I would enjoy reading it very much. And who knows? Maybe it'll be in the next chapter ;)
> 
> Also every <3, constructive criticism or inarticulate shouting is always welcome! :)


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